Friday, December 14, 2007

Legare's epic fall out with Coffee Supplier

as told to Daniel Lex Rockwood

Big news Legarettes. This week Jonathan had an epic disagreement with his coffee supplier, One A'Roma Roasters of Santa Rosa California. Back when he grew up in Petaluma Jonathan hated those Santa Rosa assholes and his prejudice was only reinforced by their shady business dealings. "They were acting douchy" said Mr. Legare while downing his port in fistfuls after hours, regaling the adolescents and feeble minded with his tales of woe. Jonathan was pissed "They lack honor and humanity, no scratch that just honor, they do posses humanity. In typical Santa Rosan fashion they are surrounded by a world class wine environment but lack taste," said the notoriously finicky and elitist community resource proprietor.
To put it plainly Johnny is fed up with poor consistency of product he's been getting from these jokers. “I'm just disgusted with their general mediocrity” he went on and on.
Noted customer Chase Von Something-Or-Another then walked in and regaled the crowd with his wayward antics of misguided amour run amok against god and nature. "I put my dick a box" the clueless suitor bragged.
The two shipments of rank beans will be available for free disposal in the form of tasting samples upon request. "I think I just found sixty pounds of Krivar, who wants it bitches!"

5 comments:

Mel said...

Hey, dont waste any coffee shyte on the comman man who has access to delicious greatness. Send it to the less fortunate who has beaten themsleves down to a dark place where instant coffee flavored "beans" (aka flakes of poop) is something one saves their pa'anga for. Send it to Tonga yo

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